Way Back When.....

    When I was a little girl, I joined Girl Scouts (Brownies) in the first grade. I have always loved hiking, exploring, making crafts, etc. So, this was a good fit for me. It was only a couple years later that my tics became full blown and I was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. I had many motor tics, most of which consisted of shaking and jerking my upper body or my legs. Back then, however, my vocal tics were aplenty and became more frequent if I got excited. I would do the "girl-scream", talk in an escalated tone, squeak, whistle, and make bird noises. All of this seemed "normal" to me, but to my friends, it could be quite startling at times.
    I remember being on a weekend camping trip when I had just entered Juniors. It was cold and rainy and we slept in tents that were not entirely unexposed to the outdoors (which meant bugs). Every few minutes or seconds I would let loose with one of my vocal tics and a couple of the girls asked me to stop. I looked at them slightly confused as to why they would ask me such a thing. I was never a quiet person and, as I said, ticcing was a natural thing to me. One of my friends stepped forward and said, "She can't help it."
    "Yes, she can." Retorted one girl with her arms crossed. She wore her hair in a ponytail and seemed to speak for the others who had objected. "Yeah, why can't you stop?" snapped a girl in pigtails behind her.
    Glad to have someone on my side and wanting these girls to leave me alone, I finally spoke up. "It's a tic, I have Tourettes." I shrugged and launched into the 9 year old's version of what TS is.
    This was just one instance where I've encountered social insensitivity. There are always consequences to that kind of behavior. I'm not going to say it didn't sting or hurt, but over the years I've learned that many times when people say things like that it's due to a lack of knowledge or that thing in your brain that makes you think before you speak, i.e. discernment. The trick is to learn to ignore their comments and even encourage questions. That let's people know that you're okay with having TS, even though it can be a challenge. Also, it's important to learn to be comfortable in your own skin and ticcing in public, because if people don't accept you AND your Tourettes, they're probably not the kind of people you want to hang around anyway.

Neighboring Disorders

     So last week I talked about some of the common concerns people who have TS deal with. This week I'm going to talk on a few co-morbid disorders. What exactly does that mean, you ask? Sounds kind of bad, doesn't it? According to Merriam Webster's Dictionary co-morbid means: existing simultaneously with and usually independently of another medical condition. Not so bad right? Yes and no. 
    Personally, I have experienced two of these. Sometimes they're in the back seat and others on the passenger side. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at the same time I was diagnosed with Tourette's. OCD is defined as: a psychoneurotic disorder in which the person experiences reoccurring thoughts in the form of obsessions or compulsions or both and suffers anxiety or depression through failure to think the obsessive thoughts or perform the compelling acts. The good thing is it's not always as serious as all that. Cases vary from mild to severe. Most of my growing up years it's been in the back of my mind, kind of minding its own business.  The main part of my life OCD has affected is scheduling. For the most part, I lead a very scheduled life and I can get easily thrown off track if the schedule drastically changes. I've successfully attempted behavioral modifications techniques to "loosen up" on scheduling. For example, if I plan on having lunch at noon, but, because of outside intervention, I cannot leave until 12:30. I have to adapt to that by having the prepared thought or "plan of action" allowing myself a window of time before and after the proposed time. 
    The second thing I deal with is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) - an anxiety disorder marked by excessive anxiety and worry. In other words, I'm a little high strung. lol This is something that is exacerbated or made worse by my OCD and vice versa. However, it doesn't rule my life and again, it ranges from mild to severe in different people.
    Both of these can sometimes affect my TS. The OCD can cause the tics to be more repetitive and the anxiety can sometimes cause me to over-worry.  As I have mentioned before, I am blessed with a great support system and good health care. It also helps to have God on my side. Heaven knows without all of these things my life would be very different.  Now, I am a soon to be a college graduate!

Common Concerns

    Happy Spring all! I've had the flu for the past couple days, but on the bright side, that gives me ample time for reading and such. So, I'm a member of this group on Facebook for high school and college students with TS. Someone posted a picture from Instagram naming various Tourettes Issues. I want to comment on these because they're some of the most common ones.

# 4: When people think you're rolling their eyes (or sticking your tongue out) at them.
    Okay, rolling your eyes isn't such a big deal, although it can get you into trouble. I've told a few teachers that just because they see me doing that doesn't mean I'm disrespecting them. However, sometimes this one can be so bad that I'm afraid I'll look like a weirdo if anyone sees me doing it. So I put my head down or turn away to express it. The second one can be down right embarrassing. Haha just talking about it makes me do it. I was in class the other day and had it and we weren't in a regular set-up. It was more like a round table. Awkward...
#6: To me, this one is kind of funny. It's interesting to watch the different reactions. Some people are surprised and curious; others get this abashed look on their face. Either way the shoe is on the other foot.
#13: I am convinced that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder just has to be tag-along to TS. (Note: International OCD Foundation info can be found in the link on the right.)
#15: Wondering if your future kids will have Tourette's. (50% chance of heredity)
To me, you have to have the mindset that they might and take confidence in knowing that you are the best person to help them through it. Also, no matter who you are, every family has something and there's always that chance that it might get passed on. One cannot let fear be the ruling factor.
#16: In my blog, Blanket Hug, about the weighted blanket I talk about bad tics being a hindrance to sleep. This is common because, not just people with TS, but people with nervous system disorders often have trouble winding down. One thing to remember is: you are never too old to have a bedtime ritual. 3-4 hours before bed I dim the lights to start melatonin production (that hormone that makes you sleep) and anywhere from a half hour to an hour before bed I will read instead of watching TV because the lights from a screen of any sort can stimulate the brain.
#3: Wishing TS had an off button.
When my tics are really bad or they come on during something important, for instance: driving, an interview, carrying liquids, etc. I definitely wish there was an "Off button" during those times.
    Even though, these things can be a hindrance, I wouldn't change who I am and it feels good to be able to find the humor in some things.
 

My Little Blessing

    Service dogs have long been a part of our society. Some serve in our protective units such as firefighting and police work. Others serve as guides and/or companions for people with many different disorders or disabilities. There have been dogs in my house all through my growing up years. They've always been a big part of my life, but I had never found one that I really bonded with until 2011. I had been wanting a dog of my own for some time. One that I had used my own earnings to get and one that I could train and bring up myself.
    In the past I had either been too young and/or too immature to take on such a task, but one day I found myself at a local pet store. I had decided that I wanted a dachshund. We already had a pack of four canines at home, so getting another pet sounded a little daunting. I had found out they had a mini, smooth-coat dachshund there and went to check her out. She was only ten weeks old and had one brown eye and one blue eye. I always admired that in a dog. I was petting her and a loud sound scared her and she ran and hid under the bench. I called her back out and despite being scared, she came to me. I was hooked and I knew she was mine.
    So, against some of my better judgment I took her home. That was back in July of 2011. My dog, Princess, is one of the best things to happen to me. She comforts me when I'm sad, sick, or having a bad tic day. Any time I'm feeling lonely, I can cuddle her and she doesn't mind. She's the sweetest thing, has even learned to smile, and is always so happy to see me when I get home. She puts her face up against mine whenever she wants love or knows I need some. She may not be a certified therapy/service dog, but if she was, I couldn't ask for a better one.