When we get visitors, one of the polite things we say to welcome them is, "Please, make yourself at home." It's a sweet, simple gesture that conveys to the guest that you are happy to have them in your home (your private space) and want them to feel comfortable. Although, having tics and experiencing them is the norm for us, a lot of times we still have to get used to them. We don't get to pick and choose which tics we do and don't get; or for how long we'll have to endure them
I've encountered those who are uncomfortable with or irritated by my tics even after explanation. I suppose they deserve some credit for trying to hide their vexation. However, due to having a nervous system that's always in hyper drive and being a student of human nature anyway, I'm hardly oblivious to most people's feelings. Generally speaking, I am able to obtain a certain amount of objectivity in this area.
Despite having heard about it all my life, for the first time in 26 years I developed a throat clearing tic. At first I found it embarrassing. I was not used to this sound coming out of my throat outside of the normal reasons for it. Now it was presenting numerous times a minute, often several times in a row. In addition to this, my throat was getting sore from doing it so often. I sometimes (notice the use of present tense) worry that people will think I've got some sort of bug and will make them sick too with all my throat clearing.
Bearing all this in mind, everyone is susceptible to be startled by the unknown and I'm not faulting anyone for this, as I have experienced this phenomenon myself. I just have the advantage of being exposed to "the unknown" more than most and am therefore less phased by it. My point in sharing all this with you is not only to encourage you to explore and ask questions, but to help you better understand not just people with Tourette's, but anyone who deals with a "startling" disability. As alien, unsettling, embarrassing, and/or painful it may be to someone watching on the outside, think how much more difficult it is for someone battling it on the inside. A little compassion and understanding can go a long way.
Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts
May 13, 2016
April 08, 2016
Tourette Conference 2016
Every two years the Tourette Association of America puts on a national conference in Arlington, Virginia for touretters and their families. For several reasons, it was touch and go for a while this time around as to whether or not I was going to get to attend. When I found out that not only was I going to get to go, but that my big sister was going to join me in the experience I was ecstatic. The itinerary for the conference sessions had been posted, our hotel was booked, and the TAA board was kind enough to grant me a scholarship to attend this year's conference. Not to mention, the keynote speaker was Brad Cohen, whom I consider a personal role model for me in the TS community and have long hoped to have the opportunity to meet.
If you don't have Tourettes or any sort of isolating disorder you may not fully grasp the importance of the camaraderie one feels when being around one's own. I live in a small town where awareness and support is not readily available or in close proximity to me. So when I get to attend this conference it's like a breath of fresh air. I can be weird and ticcy and be at home with others like me who understand and aren't judging me for my tics. Over the past three conferences that I've gone to now, I've made new friends and reconnected with old ones. It's fun to catch up and talk about the tics and little mannerisms we have in common.
One of the neat things I got to experience this year, being a three time veteran, was seeing the looks on people's faces and hearing the things they'd say about it being their first time to the conference. It made me remember my own first adventure at the Tourette's Conference and how exhilarating it was. I remember feeling so overwhelmed (in a good way) with meeting people like me for the first time, hearing other people's stories, and meeting some wonderful people from what was then called the Tourette Syndrome Association. I made new friends and for the first time in my life, outside of my own home, I could tic and not feel like a weirdo or the odd one out. I didn't have to worry that someone would think I was mad, begging for attention or being excluded from groups and activities because the people there understood and dealt with the same things I did and do.
Let me stress that I love informing people about Tourette Syndrome. I strongly encourage people to ask questions. How else are they going to learn? But the looks, the stares, and the body language that so many think go unnoticed by someone in my position are sometimes more than one can bare. I know when someone is uncomfortable with me. I can all but see the wheels turning and the questions and/or comments churning in their minds and I know that many feel this way as well.
When I go to the conference and I'm echoing a phrase, sound, or movement that someone else made I know they're not going to judge me or feel that I'm mocking them because they understand. That's the key word there folks: understand. If you never take the time to learn about something or someone and understand the "why" behind their actions or behavior you are sentencing yourself to a life of ignorance and worse yet, you are sentencing those people to a life of scrutiny and exclusion.
In closing, I went to some very informative sessions. I can't stress enough the joy and comfort of being around my fellow touretters. To my delight, I did get to meet Mr. Cohen. He was just as I imagined him to be. I enjoyed his easy-going manner and his openness to talk about Tourette's and advocacy. I also appreciated him sharing his story with us. It's easy to feel alone with a disorder such as this and having people like Brad Cohen to look up to and feel that sense of connection with is important. Also, to be able to see the things that such people have accomplished can be a ray of hope for those of us who aren't always able to see the light at the end of the tunnel for one reason or another.
If you don't have Tourettes or any sort of isolating disorder you may not fully grasp the importance of the camaraderie one feels when being around one's own. I live in a small town where awareness and support is not readily available or in close proximity to me. So when I get to attend this conference it's like a breath of fresh air. I can be weird and ticcy and be at home with others like me who understand and aren't judging me for my tics. Over the past three conferences that I've gone to now, I've made new friends and reconnected with old ones. It's fun to catch up and talk about the tics and little mannerisms we have in common.
One of the neat things I got to experience this year, being a three time veteran, was seeing the looks on people's faces and hearing the things they'd say about it being their first time to the conference. It made me remember my own first adventure at the Tourette's Conference and how exhilarating it was. I remember feeling so overwhelmed (in a good way) with meeting people like me for the first time, hearing other people's stories, and meeting some wonderful people from what was then called the Tourette Syndrome Association. I made new friends and for the first time in my life, outside of my own home, I could tic and not feel like a weirdo or the odd one out. I didn't have to worry that someone would think I was mad, begging for attention or being excluded from groups and activities because the people there understood and dealt with the same things I did and do.
Let me stress that I love informing people about Tourette Syndrome. I strongly encourage people to ask questions. How else are they going to learn? But the looks, the stares, and the body language that so many think go unnoticed by someone in my position are sometimes more than one can bare. I know when someone is uncomfortable with me. I can all but see the wheels turning and the questions and/or comments churning in their minds and I know that many feel this way as well.
When I go to the conference and I'm echoing a phrase, sound, or movement that someone else made I know they're not going to judge me or feel that I'm mocking them because they understand. That's the key word there folks: understand. If you never take the time to learn about something or someone and understand the "why" behind their actions or behavior you are sentencing yourself to a life of ignorance and worse yet, you are sentencing those people to a life of scrutiny and exclusion.
In closing, I went to some very informative sessions. I can't stress enough the joy and comfort of being around my fellow touretters. To my delight, I did get to meet Mr. Cohen. He was just as I imagined him to be. I enjoyed his easy-going manner and his openness to talk about Tourette's and advocacy. I also appreciated him sharing his story with us. It's easy to feel alone with a disorder such as this and having people like Brad Cohen to look up to and feel that sense of connection with is important. Also, to be able to see the things that such people have accomplished can be a ray of hope for those of us who aren't always able to see the light at the end of the tunnel for one reason or another.
June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day!!!
It's rainy and chilly outside. Unusual weather for this time of year in the Northern Panhandle, but I don't mind. I've mentioned several times how my mum has been a great help to me throughout my years in dealing with Tourettes. I've talked about how she's supported me, guided me, taught me to stand up for myself, etc, but today I want to talk about my dad.
Whatever mysterious gene that Tourette Syndrome comes on came from his side of the family, along with OCD. Several of the oddities that I've experienced over the years, he's gone through himself. Having TS can be very lonely when you're the only known one in the family who has it, so it's kind of cool when we find something else in common. Throughout my college career, as I've mentioned before, I've experienced some prejudices that I didn't know how to or couldn't deal with on my own. My dad has come to class with me when I felt like I couldn't be alone, and he's gone to bat for me when someone wouldn't give me the accomadations I needed or didn't seem to "get" that having Tourettes can be difficult and can sometimes make certain everyday activities hard to deal with such as: ticcing in public, standing or sitting still for long periods of time, being quiet, sensory processing, etc.
My dad, my mum, and various other peoples have been responsible for the on-going process of learning to be comfortable with myself and my tics and being able to stand up for myself. I don't believe in being quiet or sitting on the sidelines while someone gives me a proverbial beating. I don't always know what to say, but, chances are, someone else does. The important thing to remember is each time someone sticks up for me and/or I stick up for myself, and promote Tourette Syndrome awareness, I've gained another notch in my belt of advocation. Being an advocate can be something as simple as telling someone you have Tourettes, because you're showing that you're not ashamed of who you are.
I had one incident at a place of employment when I was a sophomore in college where a supervisor got upset with me for calling home because my tics were so bad that I couldn't be still for a second and I didn't know what to do. This was also during a time when I was less than okay with expressing my tics in public. When I tried to explain that I had obtained permission to call and that I had TS, he refused to listen and told me to go home. Try as I might, I couldn't hold back my tears. My mum who was on the phone this whole time listening to the exchange told my dad what was happening and within fifteen minutes he was up there speaking on my behalf to the man who had committed the transgression. If it hadn't been for my dad that day, I don't know what I would have done.
In closing, I just want to remind everyone that everyone out there who has Tourette Syndrome or knows someone with does is covered under that American Disabilities Act. That means no one is allowed to discriminate against you because of your disability.
Whatever mysterious gene that Tourette Syndrome comes on came from his side of the family, along with OCD. Several of the oddities that I've experienced over the years, he's gone through himself. Having TS can be very lonely when you're the only known one in the family who has it, so it's kind of cool when we find something else in common. Throughout my college career, as I've mentioned before, I've experienced some prejudices that I didn't know how to or couldn't deal with on my own. My dad has come to class with me when I felt like I couldn't be alone, and he's gone to bat for me when someone wouldn't give me the accomadations I needed or didn't seem to "get" that having Tourettes can be difficult and can sometimes make certain everyday activities hard to deal with such as: ticcing in public, standing or sitting still for long periods of time, being quiet, sensory processing, etc.
My dad, my mum, and various other peoples have been responsible for the on-going process of learning to be comfortable with myself and my tics and being able to stand up for myself. I don't believe in being quiet or sitting on the sidelines while someone gives me a proverbial beating. I don't always know what to say, but, chances are, someone else does. The important thing to remember is each time someone sticks up for me and/or I stick up for myself, and promote Tourette Syndrome awareness, I've gained another notch in my belt of advocation. Being an advocate can be something as simple as telling someone you have Tourettes, because you're showing that you're not ashamed of who you are.
I had one incident at a place of employment when I was a sophomore in college where a supervisor got upset with me for calling home because my tics were so bad that I couldn't be still for a second and I didn't know what to do. This was also during a time when I was less than okay with expressing my tics in public. When I tried to explain that I had obtained permission to call and that I had TS, he refused to listen and told me to go home. Try as I might, I couldn't hold back my tears. My mum who was on the phone this whole time listening to the exchange told my dad what was happening and within fifteen minutes he was up there speaking on my behalf to the man who had committed the transgression. If it hadn't been for my dad that day, I don't know what I would have done.
In closing, I just want to remind everyone that everyone out there who has Tourette Syndrome or knows someone with does is covered under that American Disabilities Act. That means no one is allowed to discriminate against you because of your disability.
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